Look at my Huge Tits!

By Suzanne MacNevin - December 2007.

I know starting this that we are going to get hatemail from women who have breast implants.

They're going to say things like "I'm a [insert reputable career path here] and I needed breast implants to help me with my career." or "I had breast implants and I don't have any health problems or I would never commit suicide."

So instead I'm going to cut you off at the path by first asking what possible career requires you to get breast implants? Stripping? Prostitution? Trust me, getting breast implants is not going to help you climb the corporate ladder... but you might become known as the corporate bicycle if you start sleeping with your co-workers.

Breast implants are not going to help. Lessons in public speaking might, as would boning up on all the pertinent info that a person in your industry should know.

Oh, but that takes time and work. Well, if that is what it takes to get a promotion that is what it takes. Unless you're sleeping with the CEO breast implants are not going to help you climb the corporate ladder.

And as for the health risks and higher chances of suicide we can quickly explain that. Its called a percentage. Not all women who have breast implants get cancer or become suicidal. Obviously a percentage of them may have been suicidal in the first place, and all that proves is that women who get breast implants are more likely to be depressed and suicidal possibly before they had their surgery.

We all know the dangers of breast implants and cancer. But what is not well-known is the % of people who have mental problems either before or after the surgery.

So here's the statistics:

Women who have breast implants are three times as likely to die by suicide and have a similar increased risk of death as a result of drug use or alcoholism says a new study published in USA Today. The finding confirms earlier reports linking suicide and breast implantation and suggests plastic surgeons should consider mental health screening and follow-up for their patients.

The study is by researchers at three separate institutes: The International Epidemiology Institute in Rockville, Md., Vanderbilt University in Nashville and the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm. It extends by eight years research on 3,527 Swedish women who had cosmetic implants from 1965 to 1993. No notable increase was seen in the first 10 years after surgery, but 10 to 19 years after, risk was 4.5 times higher, and six times higher after 20 years, compared with the expected suicide rate. Researchers say it's not clear if the increase was the result of underlying psychiatric illness.

For flat-chested girls, having a full C, or even B, cup would be a dream come true. I've noticed people in the past who have commented on how much they want larger breasts and would consider implants when they are older. For me the idea of inserting foreign chemicals into my chest sounds uncomfortable and outright risky (I'm a bio-chemist so the idea of sticking any large amount of chemicals inside me sounds risky).

But since I am a normal size C I simply cannot fully understand the woes of those still not satisfied with their knockers. And certainly not to the extent of blowing themselves up to a DD standard like Pamela Anderson did.

The researchers concluded that while the women may have experienced enhanced self-esteem directly following the procedure, this improvement was not sustained over time. Joseph McLaughlin, a professor of medicine at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine and senior author of the study, said he believed that many of the subjects had psychological problems before getting implants and that their conditions did not improve afterward."

Previous research has shown that 15 percent of women who receive plastic surgery suffer from body dysmorphic disorder, a psychological condition linked to higher rates of depression and suicide.

So it is not that women who want breast implants are dumb (as the title of this article suggests). It is because they are already suffering from a mental disorder with relation to how they view their own body.

We could blame the media for it, where large breasts are seen everywhere and it becomes obvious that men seem to prefer large breasts... but only according to the media.

You see I've taken the time in the past to ask men about this and the answer varies. Some men prefer the Russ Meyer look. But some men don't really care, and there is another group which instead prefer small "perky" breasts.

Which explains why we are now seeing more "breast augmentation" surgery these days for women who want their breasts to look more perky.

Here's my theory as to why some women might become suicidal AFTER the surgery rather than already be: They were pressured by their boyfriend or husband to get the surgery.

I think my pressure theory is a valid point. What happens when after the surgery the husband or boyfriend dumps her, starts cheating or turns out to simply be a poor partner (both in and out of the sack)? After being pressured into getting the surgery the woman has made herself more into a sex object and less of a person (as far as the male is concerned). The depression, the alcoholism and possibly suicide could all be explained if this bed buddy turned out to be unfaithful or not worth the effort. The woman feels used and unwanted. Damaged goods.

And when/if she commits suicide she becomes a statistic. Another woman who got breast implants to please her man.

But I don't think suicide is the answer.

I think should divorce his ass and sue him for mental and physical abuse. It may not have been his hands performing the surgery, but if he coerced her into the surgery with promises of marriage/faithfulness then I don't see the difference. He still had an active part in mutilating her body and her self-esteem.

Lunch Hour Boob Jobs

Cytori Therapeutics, a California biotech company has introduced a new procedure called Celution: An one hour breast enlargement injection.

The procedure involves liposuction of fat from the patient’s stomach or buttocks, and then injecting the fat mixture into breast tissue. A few thousand dollars later, you can expect your breasts to gradually enlarge over a period of sixth months.

The company claims their initial focus will be reconstructive surgery in breast cancer patients, but we can’t imagine that’ll last too long. This super-charged fat injection procedure will quickly go mainstream and make its way to other parts of the body as well so people can increase the size of their butt, their pecs or whatever they want to look a little bigger.

Perhaps a natural-looking way to get fuller lips.

As natural as it can be for your lips to mysteriously grow bigger over a period of months. This means that women can now get breast surgery on a whim, the same way they can get their nose pierced or a tattoo.

The technique has not been perfected (it tends to result in rather lumpy looking breasts) and clinical trials are currently under way, but the process has already been approved in Germany, which means it is legal across the EU. Breast liposuction cost may be affordable, but it's not always the way to correct whatever mistake you have made.

See also: Silicon Goes the Way of the Dodo

Maybe She’s Born With it, Maybe It’s Free Boobies

Myfreeimplants.com is offering free breast implants to women willing to show off the results to the men who pay for them...

That's right, the website (and its owners) are basically pimping women's breasts out to any man willing to pay for the implants.

I'm not saying the woman is forced to sleep witht the man after the surgery. Heaven's no! But they are serving as a dating service: